


Mythsong Sing-a-long

by DarcSyster



Series: 5isters [6]
Category: AdventureQuest Worlds
Genre: Critique Fic, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-08 09:34:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21473836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarcSyster/pseuds/DarcSyster
Summary: Critique Ficis fan-fic which points out the errors, inconsistencies, and other problems with the source material but attempts to do it in a fun way. The characters in the story point out the problems without breaking the fourth wall, unless they are critiquing breaking the fourth wall.
Series: 5isters [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1037801





	Mythsong Sing-a-long

**Author's Note:**

> _Critique Fic_ is fan-fic which points out the errors, inconsistencies, and other problems with the source material but attempts to do it in a fun way. The characters in the story point out the problems without breaking the fourth wall, unless they are critiquing breaking the fourth wall.

"I thought this was suppose to be a party," 5layne said in obvious confusion.

"It is," 5erenity replied, "a tea party. I have some nice chamomile tea to help us all calm."

"What's that noise?"

"It's the Sounds of Serenity CD," 5erenity replied. "It's suppose to help us relax."

"What's that stench?"

"It's lavender aromatherapy," 5erenity fumed in dismay. She turned around. Startled, she dropped her tea cup. "5hadoe! Don't you know you're not suppose to sneak up on people like that?"

"I'm a rogue," 5hadoe replied innocently in her perky pixie-like voice. "And a ninja. I'm pretty sure I _am_ suppose to sneak up on people just like that."

"You're a ninja?" 5layne asked.

"I didn't really want to go in that direction," 5hadoe replied. "Assassination isn't really my thing. But I realized I needed some better battle skills than rogue and renegade gave me. Ninja seemed like a good compliment."

"Check it out!" 5torm cried as she leapt into the room. 

"What happened to your hair?" 5erenity demanded in shock.

"Science!" 5torm cried victoriously.

"She got zapped by one of those Van de Graaff generators the science guys in Castle Mania have," 5layne said. "Is that a Van de Graff. I never saw the things they generated. And I thought your hair was suppose to go back to normal after."

"And it did," 5torm replied, "but I thought this looked so appropriate for me, I've chosen to make it permanent."

"What's with the Chaos Punk outfit?" 5erenity asked.

"I'm a bard," 5torm replied as she drew her wicked guitar and broke in a vicious guitar riff. "I'm a Rock and Roll Bard of Doom! I know Dark Thrash would have been better but this was the best I could find."

"You're not the only one here who's a bard," 5erenity said. "Are we all musical?"

"`I can dance,`" 5hadoe said. "`And sing!`" She suddenly broke into song.

"`We can dance if we want to. We can leave your friends behind. 'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance, well, they're no friends of mine. Say, we can go where we want to; a place where they'll never find. And we can act like we come from out of this world; And leave the real one behind. We can dance. And sing!`

"`We can go when we want to,`" 5layne broke in. "`The night is young and so am I. And we can dress real neat from our helms to our feet, And surprise 'em with the victory cry!` `Say, we can act if we want to. If we don't, nobody will. And you can act real rude and totally removed, and I can act like an imbecile.`"  
  
"`And say, we can dance. We can dance,`" 5hadoe sang. "`Everything's out of control. We can dance. We can dance. They're doing it from pole to pole. We can dance. We can dance. Everybody look at your hands. We can dance. We can dance. Everybody's taking the chance! Safety dance. Oh well, the safety dance. Ah yes, the safety dance.`"

"That's some pretty fine footwork!" 5torm cried.

"Not quite good enough to beat the Great Godfather of Souls," 5hadoe replied. "I'm a rogue and rogues sometimes need to do some pretty fancy footwork to get around traps, but not usually to music."

"Don't remind me of that no good cheating _Great Godfather of Souls_," 5erenity responded. "`I can't get no satisfaction. I can't get no satisfaction. 'Cause I try and I try and I try and I try. I can't get no - I can't get no -`

"`When I'm hiking round the world, and I'm doing this and I'm fighting that, and I'm trying to stick some bee, who tells me, 'Baby, better come back with more XP'. Can't you see I'm on a losing streak. I can't get no, oh, no, no, no, hey, hey, hey. That's what I say, I can't get no, I can't get no - I can't get no satisfaction, no satisfaction. No satisfaction, no satisfaction`" 

"You're too trusting," 5hadoe said.

"You're not trusting enough," 5erenity retorted.

"I'm a rogue," 5hadoe replied. "We're not suppose to be."

"Anything happening special?" 5layne asked 5torm.

"Lorestockapalooza!" 5torm replied. "I finally got Mozzy Mogburne to slow down enough so I could understand what he was saying. It seems we need to defeat a Chaos Lord named Discordia, take back control of the Lead Zeppelin, and take back control of the Mythsong stage. Apparently some guy named Don Giovanni knows something about Discordia."

"You mean more action and adventure?" 5layne asked eagerly.

"Yes," 5torm replied. "5hadoe?"

"The chaos lords do make my life as a rogue more difficult," 5hadoe said. "I'm in."

"This was suppose to be a nice, relaxing tea party, a chance for us to reminisce about the good old days," 5erenity sighed.

"There were no good _old_ days," 5torm retorted, "just good _new_ days."

"Just give me a chance to get changed," 5erenity said. She returned a few minutes later in a very emo-rock outfit, her red hair redone in a chaos mohawk, and a guitar strapped over her back.

5torm looked her up and down in surprise. "You're looking really bad!" she said.

"I might look bad, but I'm _good_," 5erenity responded. "`Together! We will go our way,`" she began singing. "`Together! We will leave someday. Together! Your hand in my hand. Together! We will make the plans. Together! We will fly so high. Together! Tell our friends goodbye. Together! We will start life new. Together! This is what we'll do.`

"`Go north! Life is peaceful there. Go north! Lots of open air. Go north! To begin life new. Go north! This is what we'll do. Go north! Sun in winter time. Go north! We will do just fine. Go north! Where the skies are blue. Go north! This and more we'll do.`" 

"Actually, it's more north-east of here than just north," 5hadoe commented.

  


"`Well you're the real tough cookie with the long history of breaking H Ps like the ones in me. That's OK. Lets see how you do it. Put up your dukes, lets get down to it. Hit me with your best shot. Why don't you hit me with your best shot. Hit me with your best shot. Fire Away!`

"`You come on with a challenge. You don't fight fair. But that's OK, see if I care. Knock me down, it's all in vain. I'll get right back on my feet again. Hit me with your best shot. Why don't you hit me with your best shot. Hit me with your best shot. Fire Away!`

"`Well, you're the real tough cookie with the long history Of breaking H Ps like the ones in me. Before I put another notch in my sword scabbard, you better make sure you put me in my place. Hit me with your best shot. Why don't you hit me with your best shot. Hit me with your best shot. Fire Away! Hit me with your best shot. Why don't you hit me with your best shot. Hit me with your best shot. Fire Away!`  


  


"Thank goodness you came!" Don Giovanni cried in relief. "I'll tell you everything I know about Chaos Lord Discordia if you can help save me from being pulled to the underworld. I made a deal with a mage named Faust, but he cheated me! If you can save me… I'll tell you what I know! Please hurry. I don't have much time left. I've always been… I guess you could call me a Not-Nice-Guy… and Faust told me that he could use his power to give me wealth, romance, and fun for the rest of my life if I promised to let him drag me to the underworld when my life was over! Sounds like a good deal, right? No? Well, I thought it did at the time. But he TRICKED me! There was fine print that I couldn't even read, on the back of the contract in invisible ink… the "rest of my life" was only going to last one WEEK! Now that week is almost up and I just found out about the fine print. If you can get that contract for me, and we can destroy it then I'll be free and I'll tell you everything that I know about Discordia's plans! Please, you have to help me or I'm doomed!"

"We need to help him," 5erenity urged. The other three stared at her skeptically. 

5torm crossed her arms and scowled. "Not-nice-guy?" she scoffed. "He's not even evil enough to understand the works of Faust! What he is is a fool!"

"Agreed, but he's our only way of learning about Chaos Lord Discordia," 5erenity said. "And if we're going to save Lorestockapalooza so we can enjoy the show, we're going to need to help him."

"She has a point," 5hadoe stated reluctantly.

"Please!" Don Giovanni pleaded. "You have to get that contract back by the time the moon rises tonight. If not… I'm toast. We're going to need some things to destroy that contract and we should get those first. All the monsters in this area have Fire Fleas on them. That is the first ingredient. Bring me 15 Fire Fleas, quickly!"

"`I see a bad moon arising,`" 5layne sang as they headed into the Okestra Temple. "`I see trouble on the way. I see firefights and lightning. I see bad times today. Don't go around tonight, it's bound to take your life. There's a bad moon on the rise.`

"`I hope you got your things together. I hope you are quite prepared to die. It looks like we're in for nasty weather. One eye is taken for an eye. Oh don't go 'round tonight, it's bound to take your life. There's a bad moon on the rise. There's a bad moon on the rise.`"

"We need to stay hopeful," 5erenity said. "Don Giovanni isn't that unusual. Just remember who this place was dedicated to. `He was the first punk ever to set foot on this earth. He was a genius from the day of his birth. He could play the piano like a ringing a bell and everybody screamed 'Come on, rock me Amadeus!'`

"`He was a superstar. He was dynamite and whatever he did, seemed to be all right. He drank and he cursed and he fooled around, but when the women would shout: Rock me Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus. Oh oh oh Amadeus!`

"`With a bottle of wine in one hand and a woman in the other, 'cause he was a ladies man, he never stopped to worry what the next day would bring, because the girls would sing: Rock me Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus. Oh oh oh Amadeus!`

"`His mind was on rock and roll and having fun because he lived so fast he had to die so young. But he made his mark in history. Still everybody says: Rock me Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus, Amadeus. Oh oh oh Amadeus!`"

  


"You got them!" Don Giovanni cried happily. "Careful not to let them bite you. It's burns like anything. To burn that contract we will also need some Cannon Powder from the local Pachelbel's Cannons. The stuff is pretty powerful so we will only need one helping. Bring me 1 Charge of Cannon Powder. They are HARD TO FIND but Please hurry!"

"Fire fleas on monsters that carry cannon powder?!" 5hadoe asked in astonishment. "This place is a fire hazard!"

"Maybe we should just burn it down," 5torm said. She turned to Don Giovanni. "`Ah - watch out! You might get what you're after. Cool babies? Strange but I'm not a stranger. I'm an ordinary gal. Burning down the house!`

"`Hold tight! Wait 'til the party's over. Hold tight! We're in for nasty weather. There has got to be a way. Burning down the house!`

"`Here's your ticket. Pack your bags. Time for jumping overboard. Transportation is here. Close enough but not too far, maybe you know where you are. Fighting fire with fire!`

"`All wet? Hey, you might need a raincoat. Shakedown? Dreams walking in broad daylight! Three hundred - sixty five degrees! Burning down the house!`

"`It was once upon a place, sometimes I listen to myself. Going to come in first place. People on their way to work say 'Baby. What did you expect?' Going to burst into flames! Go on!`

"`Burning down the house! This house - is out of the ordinary! That's right! You want to hurt somebody. Some one sure can sweep you off your feet. Burning down the house!`

"`No visible means of support and you have not seen nothing yet. Everything's stuck together! I don't know what you expect staring into the orchestra pit, fighting fire with fire!`

"`Yeah! Burning down the house! Burning down the house! Burning down the house!`"

"Please!" Don Giovanni cried. "If you burn down the building, Faust will still have my contract and I'll be doomed! Then I won't tell you what I know about Chaos Lord Discordia."

"I` think I'm going to write a little letter, going to take it to the temple's D.J.`," 5hadoe sang. "`It's a jumping little record I want the jockey to play. Roll Over Beethoven! 'Got to hear it again today!`

"`My temperature's rising, the walkman's blowing a fuse. My heart's beating a rhythm, singing out rhythm and blues. Roll Over Beethoven. They're rocking in two by two!`

"`Well if you feel you like it, go get your lover and really rock it. Roll it over and move on up now. Go for cover and really rock it. Roll it over. Roll Over Beethoven. Tell Tchaikovsky the news.`

"`Early in the morning I'm a giving you the warning, don't you step on my blue suede shoes. Hey diddle diddle, 'going to play my fiddle, I've got nothing to lose. Roll Over Beethoven. Tell Tchaikovsky the news.`

"`Roll Over Beethoven. Roll Over Beethoven. Roll Over Beethoven. Roll Over Beethoven. Roll Over Beethoven. Dig these rhythm and blues!`" 

  


"Great job! We're almost ready," Don Giovanni said. "The last thing that we're going to need is… a little luck. I know it's silly with the seconds melting away but I'm a strong believer in luck. The claws of the Mozard are considered one of the luckiest things in all of Mythsong valley. Please, bring me 5 Mozard Claws."

"`Very superstitious!`" 5erenity sang.` "(The) writing's on the wall. Very superstitious! Ladders bout' to fall. Thirteen month old baby, broke the looking glass. Seven years of bad luck, the good things in your past. When you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer. Superstition's not the way!`

"`Very superstitious! Wash your face and hands. Rid me of the problem, do all that you can. Keep me in a daydream, keep me going strong. You don't want to save me, sad is my song. `When you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer. Superstition's not the way!``

"`Very superstitious! (There's) Nothing more to say. Very superstitious! the demon's on his way. Thirteen month old baby, broke the looking glass. Seven years of bad luck, the good things in your past. When you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer. Superstition's not the way!`"

  


"Perfect!" Don Giovanni cried. "I have no doubt you will be able to save me. All that is left is the contract. Be careful heroes. Faust is a very dangerous creature and he will stop at nothing to make sure I fulfill my contract with him. Good luck and remember a lot more than my life is at stake here."

The four faced off against Faust. "We're here to relieve you of Don Giovanni's contract," 5erenity stated.

"Not that he deserves saving," 5torm added. "Truth is, we'd all be just as happy if you ripped his soul out and put him out of our misery."

"But we kind of need something he has," 5hadoe said. "And he'll give it to us in exchange for that contract."

"Got anything to say before we whup your butt?" 5layne demanded.

"`Coming to you from a dusty pit`," Faust sang. "`Strong darkness I got a truck load. And when you get it, you got something. So don't worry cause I'm coming. I'm a soul man. I'm a soul man. I'm a soul man. I'm a soul man.`

"`Got what I got the hard way. And I'll make it darker each and every day. So hero don't you fret, 'Cause you ain't seen nothing yet. I'm a soul man. I'm a soul man. I'm a soul man. I'm a soul man.`

"`Listen. I was brought up on a side street. I learned dark magic before I could eat. I was educated by evil stock. When I start taking, I just can't stop. I'm a soul man. I'm a soul man. I'm a soul man. I'm a soul man.`

  


"YOU GOT IT!" Don Giovanni cried in relief. "What a relief. Let me just destroy it." He lit it on fire and watched it burn. "That's it. I'm free!"

"Free to continue leading the life of a scoundrel, you mean?" 5erenity challenged.

"Scoundrel?" Don Giovanni asked.

"Do you like ne'er-do-well better?" 5erenity asked. "Scallywag? Plain old jerk? None of us really wanted to save you."

"Ok, ok. Scoundrel is fine," Don Giovanni conceded. "And no, I'm done with that life. Faust nearly tricked me with that contract. He really would have dragged me to the underworld. It was too close."

"If you say so," 5torm said. "Personally, I don't believe you. But now that you're free of Faust's contract, it's time to tell us what you know about Chaos Lord Discordia."

"I probably know more than anyone else, but it's still not very much," Don Giovanni began. "From what I've heard, Discordia is a brilliant musician. He was working on the ultimate song, that would win over the heart of anyone who heard it. Drakath appeared and offered Discordia a powerful short cut. Discodia accepted. Now he can use his music, to not just win over hearts and minds, but CONTROL them! I've also heard there is a way to break his control… but I don't know what it is. That is all I know."

"Makes sense," 5hadoe said. "If he can control people with music, and Lorestockapalooza is going to have a lot, he'll be able to raise an army."

"Thanks Don Giovanni!" 5erenity said.

"Just one more thing before you go," 5hadoe said. "Do you know where Discordia is?"

"I heard he was over there, preparing his followers," Don Giovanni said.

"How about I just use my rogue skills to sneak over there and see what he's up to before we go charging in," 5hadoe suggested.

Discordia, a masked gentleman in a suit who hovered above a stage, addressed his music pirates. "My loyal fans, the world showed no compassion to me. Chaos alone can make my song take flight. Help me make my music become the night. The Chaos Beast grows restless in slumber as Lorestockapalooza draws nigh. With its powers, my music will Chaorrupt Mythsong and Lore shall become mine! We are past the point of no return. Victory awaits! I give you my music, to make your powers take wing. Obey your master. My music compels you to comply, or you will curse the day you did not do all that Chaos Lord Discordia asked of you!"

"Arr!" the music pirates cried. 

5hadoe returned to the base of the Stairway to Haven. "We heard Loresotckapalooza was about to start," she said. "But after watching that, I see a lot of a 'Battle' and not so many 'Bands' headed our way."

"Mun! It's bad, reaaaaal bad!" Mozzy Mogurne cried. "The next Lord of Chaos is HERE in Mythsong!"

"Yeah, we already know," 5erenity said,

"Touché, magical mind reader," Mozzy said. "Then what number am I thinking of right now?"

"Hmm," 5erenity mused.

"Platypus?" 5layne asked.

"Ahem!" called someone from the crowd.

"Oh, riiiight!" Mozzy conceded. "It was platypus. Anyway so Discordia's melodies are chaorrupting the inhabitants of Mythsong. His undying fans were the first to fully transform into an army of Music Pirates but it's only a matter of time before his Chaos power grows and his music tops the chart! Aaand if Discordia summons the Chaos Beast, the entire world will become chaorrupted Music Pirate junkies too! Mun!"

"He is headed to Lorestockapalooza right now to wake the Chaos Beast," 5erenity called. "So let's board that Lead Zeppelin and put an end to Chaos Lord Discordia and his Music Pirates!"  


"Prepare to meet your LOLSUIT!!" 5layne cried as she struck down a music pirate. Every looked at her curiously. "Ohhh c'mon guys, that was a good one! Music Pirates. Lawsuit. Lolsuit? Nothing? Fine. BATTLE ON!"

5hadoe, 5torm, 5erenity and 5layne made their way to the Lead Zepplin. They could hear music.

"`Our fires high and the airbags tight, food's low but the skies are bright. Props spinning all through the night. We're low on cash but seen another target. Goggles down and the cannons up, my blood starts pumping as I drain my cup. I give the wheel a spin and I turn this girl around. We're way above ground but we're closing on our target.`

"`With a crew of drunken pilots, we're the only airship pirates. We're full of hot air and we're starting to rise. We're the terror of the skies, but a danger to ourselves. With a crew of drunken pilots, we're the only airship pirates. We're full of hot air and we're starting to rise. We're the terror of the skies, but a danger to ourselves. With a crew of drunken pilots, we're the only airship pirates. We're full of hot air and we're starting to rise. We're the terror of the skies, but a danger to ourselves. With a crew of drunken pilots, we're the only airship pirates. We're full of hot air and we're starting to rise. We're the terror of the skies, but a danger to ourselves now.`

  


"Now that we've rescued the bands, we need to get to the stage!" 5erenity called to the others.

"Hi heroes! I'm Kimberley of One-Eyed Doll," called a dark-haired woman in red and white. "I've come to do musical battle with Chaos Lord Discordia along side you. Battle on!"

"Maybe that's not a good idea," 5torm said.

"But you're going to need music to defeat Chaos Lord Discordia and I'm a musician," Kimberley stated.

"And 5torm and I are both bards," 5erenity stated. "`Out of the ruins, out from the wreckage, can't make the same mistake this time`," she began to sing. "`We are the orphans, the lost generation. We are the ones they left behind. And I wonder when we are ever going to change - change. Living under the fear till nothing else remains. We don't need another hero. We don't need to know the way home. All we want is life we're free to roam.`

"`Looking for something we can rely on. There's got to be something better out there. Love and compassion, their day is coming. All else are castles built in the air. And I wonder when we are ever going to change - change. Living under the fear till nothing else remains. All the children say 'We don't need another hero. We don't need to know the way home. All we want is life` we're free to roam`.`'

"`What do we do with our lives? We leave only a mark. Will our story shine like a life or end in the dark? Give it all or nothing.` `We don't need another hero. We don't need to know the way home. All we want is life` we're free to roam`. All the children say 'We don't need another hero. We don't need to know the way home. All we want is life `we're free to roam`.`'"

"I'm coming with you!" Kimberley asserted. "Everything will turn out just fine. The show must go on! Battle on!"

"`Well, we won't back down!`" 5layne began singing. "`No we won't back down. You can stand us up at the gates of hell, but we won't back down! No, we'll stand our ground, won't be turned around, and we'll keep this world from dragging us down. Going to stand our ground. And we won't back down. _We won't back down_. Hey baby! There ain't no easy way out. _We won't back down._ Hey! We will stand our ground, and we won't back down.`"

"The architect of this place should have been drawn and quartered before they were ever allowed to create this," 5torm commented. "It's like climbing through plumbing!"

"Whoah!" Kimberley cried. "What's that?"

"`We were at Mythsong`," 5layne sang. "`Everybody had matching armour. Kimberley began to gawk because she saw a rock`.` It wasn't a rock. It was a rock lobster! Rock lobster!`"

"`Rock lobster!`" 5torm added.

"`Rock lobster!`" 5hadoe sang gleefully.

"`Rock lobster!`" 5erenity sang.

"Ok! Enough!" Kimberley cried. "I don't want to be 52 before we defeat Chaos Lord Discordia. With our combined powers, he won't stand a chance. Baaaattle Aaaaaaaaaaaa-On!"

"She's a little too confident," 5hadoe whispered to 5erenity, 5torm, and 5layne. 

"`I watch it all change, take the news of the day and throw it away.`" 5erenity sang. "`Time will kill all the pain. Fate will cure the decay of all this blind ambition, the greed brings us together. Stay strong! Stay true! Be brave! It all comes down to you! `

"`Try to just let it go! Know that justice moves too slow, but it comes in the end. Rise, the guilty will fall. Stay, they can't take it all; they want the unimportant. It's love they leave behind. Stand up! Aim true! Keep heart! The future looks to you! Every second you throw away, every minute of every day, don't get caught in a memory, Cause life won't wait for you, No, life won't wait for you, my friend.`

"`I'm watching a change. Who will carry the flame? It all feels very strange. Dreams that men can be good, faith to live as we should and know we're all connected. We give ourselves the power. Stay strong! Stay true! Be brave! It all comes down to you! Every day that you wait, you're falling faster. No sleight of hand, No twist of fate, No ever after. When it's gone, it's gone, A fight 'til the bitter end. Life won't wait for you, No, life won't wait for you, my friend.  
`

`"Life won't wait for you, my friend. Life won't wait for you, my friend. Life won't wait for you, my friend. Life won't wait for you, my friend.`"

Finally they reached the stage to find Discordia hovering there.

"Battle of the bands!" Kimberley cried. "Baaaaaaattle Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah ah ah ah on!"

"It's over Discordia," 5torm warned. "I'm here! `I know how to hurt. I know how to heal. I know what to show, and what to conceal. I know when to talk, and I know when to touch. No-one ever died from wanting too much. The world is not enough, but it is such a perfect place to start...my foe. And if you're strong enough, together we will take the world apart...my foe.`

"`People like us know how to survive. There's no point in living if you can't feel the life. We know when to kiss, and we know when to kill. If I can't have it all then nobody will. The world is not enough, but it is such a perfect place to start...my foe. And if you're strong enough, together we will take the world apart...my foe. The world is not enough. The world is not enough_. _No nowhere near enough. The world is not enough!`"

"Ah!" Kimberley began cautiously.

"You did know 5torm was evil, didn't you?" 5erenity asked.

"No!" Kimberley replied. "I thought you four were heroes."

"Anti-hero in my case," 5torm stated.

"Oh! But the other three of you are good, right?"

"No," 5erenity sighed. "I'm the only good one."

"So you two are evil?" Kimberley asked in confusion. "I thought heroes were suppose to be good."

"I'm not a hero, or an anti-hero," 5hadoe protested politely. "We're here because we wanted to watch the show."

"But Chaos Lords make that difficult," 5layne added.

"Otherwise, good - evil, what ever works at the time," 5hadoe explained.

"Right! Ok!" Kimberley cried. "Baaaattle Aaaaaaaaaaaa-On!"

"`Just on the border of your waking mind, there lies another time, where darkness and light are one. As you tread the halls of sanity, you feel so glad to be unable to go beyond. I have a message from another time.`

  


"`Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting,`" 5hadoe sang. "`Our minds become fast as lightning. Although the future is a little bit frightening, it's the book of our lives that we're writing.`"

"`Before the battle of the fist, comes the battle of the mind. When you don't know who you are, just look inside. When we move into the flow, we're always going to win. So feel the power that you know; make sure you let it in.`

"`Everybody was kung fu fighting. ``Our minds becomes fast as lightning. ``I know it's a little bit frightening, but we fight with expert timing.`

"`And we keep moving with the flow; If you can rock it, you can roll. Hunger for Freedom; let's make it grow. The more you try to take, the less you really have. When it comes to energy, you've got to give it back.`

"`Everybody was kung fu fighting. `Our strikes are fast as lightning.` I know it's a little bit frightening, but we fight with expert timing.  
`

"`We are diamonds in the rough, brilliant balls of clay. We could be works of art, if we just go all the way. Now what would it take to break? I believe that we can bend. Not only do we have to fight, but we have got to win.`

"`Everybody was kung fu fighting. Our minds becomes fast as lightning. Although the future is a little bit frightening, it's the book of our lives that we're writing."  
`

  


"`Let me hear you scream!`" 5layne sang.  


"`I'm black and bruised, beat up but still I take the blows, 'cause all I need is blood and sweat and skin and bones. I'll take this rage, rattle your cage. Nobody said it's easy. It's do or die, only the strong survive. Get ready for the last stand. Get ready, I'm your headsman!`

"`Let me hear you scream like you want it. Let me hear you yell like you mean it. If you got to go down, go loud, go strong, go proud, go on, go hard or go home! Let me hear you - _Let me hear you_ - Let me hear you - _Let me hear you_ - Let me hear you scream!`

"`I'll pull you up and push you right back in your place. I'll take you down and wipe that smile right off your face. I'll watch you break, you're mine to take, don't blink, you just might miss it. It's all or nothing, nowhere left to run, are you ready for the last fight? Get ready with the war cry. `

"`Let me hear you scream like you want it. Let me hear you yell like you mean it. If you got to go down, go loud, go strong, go proud, go on, go hard or go home! Let me hear you - _Let me hear you_ - Let me hear you - _Let me hear you_ - Let me hear you scream!`"

  


"`Be careful making wishes in the dark, dark,`" 5torm sang "`Can't be sure when they've hit their mark. And besides in the mean, mean time, I'm just dreaming of tearing you apart.`

"`I'm in the de-details with the devil, so now the world can never get me on my level. I just gotta get you off the stage. I'm a young lover's rage. Gonna need a spark to ignite.`

"`My songs know what you did in the dark. So light 'em up, up, up. Light 'em up, up, up. Light 'em up, up, up. I'm on fire! So light 'em up, up, up. Light 'em up, up, up. Light 'em up, up, up. I'm on fire.`

"`Oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa. In the dark, dark. Oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa. In the dark, dark.`

"`All the writers keep writing what they write. Somewhere another pretty vein just dies. I've got the scars from tomorrow and I wish you could see that you’re the antidote to everything except for me.`

"`A constellation of tears on your lashes, burn everything you love, then burn the ashes. In the end everything collides. My childhood spat back out the monster that you see.`

"`My songs know what you did in the dark. So light 'em up, up, up. Light 'em up, up, up. Light 'em up, up, up. I'm on fire! So light 'em up, up, up. Light 'em up, up, up. Light 'em up, up, up. I'm on fire.`

"`Oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa. In the dark, dark. Oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, whoa. In the dark, dark.`

"`My songs know what you did in the dark. So light 'em up, up, up. Light 'em up, up, up. Light 'em up, up, up. I'm on fire! So light 'em up, up, up. Light 'em up, up, up. Light 'em up, up, up. I'm on fire.`"

  


"`You see me now a veteran of a thousand magic wars,`" 5erenity began singing. "`I've been living on the edge so long, where the winds of limbo roar. I'm young enough to look at, and far too old to see. All the scars are on the inside. I'm not sure that there's anything left of me.`

"`Don't let these shakes go on. It's time we had a break from it. It's time we had some leave. We've been living in the flames. We've been eating up our brains. Oh please don't let these shakes go on.`

"`You ask me if I'm weary, if I would speak to you. You blame me for my silence, say it's time I stopped, withdrew. But the war's still going on, dear, and there's no end that I know, and I can't say if we're ever - I can't say if were ever gonna be free!`

"`Don't let these shakes go on. It's time we had a break from it. It's time we had some leave. We've been living in the flames. We've been eating up our brains. Oh please don't let these shakes go on.`

"`You see me now a veteran of a thousand magic wars. Your energy's spent at last, and your armor is destroyed. You have used up all your weapons and you're helpless and bereaved. Wounds are all you're made of. Did you hear me say that this is victory?  
`

"`Don't let these shakes go on. It's time we had a break from it. It's time we had some leave. We've been living in the flames. We've been eating up our brains. Oh please don't let these shakes go on.`"

  


"OH! I still have a concert to play!" Kimberley cried. "THE SHOW MUST…. something something."

"Good to hear!" 5erenity said. "We'll let you get back to work."

"NO WAY!" Kimberley cried. "You all HAVE to stay on stage with me… and help me _melt faces_!"

"Really?" 5layne asked. "**AWESOME!"**

  


"And now to introduce the band!" Kimberley yelled from stage. "On drums, Junior!" Junior broke into massive drum solo. "How about some vocals with that?" Kimberley yelled.

"`I got rhythm. I got music. I got my drums. Who could ask for anything more?`" Junior sang with a glare at Kimberly. The audience laughed.

"And on bass guitar, Mister Socks!" Kimberley yelled.

"`Because you know I'm all about that bass, 'Bout that bass, no treble.`" Mister Socks sang. Again the audience erupted in laughter.

"Backing us up on ever so good Swordhaven Guitar, 5erenity!"

"`The world can be a nasty place. You know it, I know it. We don’t have to fall from grace. Put down the weapons you fight with. Kill 'em with kindness. Kill 'em with kindness. Kill 'em, kill 'em, kill 'em with kindness. Go 'head, go 'head, go 'head. Kill 'em with kindness.`" 5torm, dressed very chaos punk with her big science hair, glared at the healer.

"On evil 6-string bass Shadowscythe Guitar, 5torm!"

"`Well, if you're looking for trouble, you've come to the right place. Yeah, if you're looking for trouble, just take a look at this face. Because I'm evil, my middle name is misery. Yes I'm evil, so don't you mess around with me.`

`"I've never looked for trouble, but I've never ran. I don't take no orders, from no kind of man. Because I'm evil, my middle name is misery. Yes I'm evil, so don't you mess around with me."` The crowd cheered. 5torm's guitar screamed a victory riff.

"And over here on keytar, 5hadoe!" 

"`In this life, one thing counts, in the bank, large amounts. I'm afraid these don't grow on trees, you got to rob a noble or two, girls! You got to rob a noble or two!`" 5hadoe sang. The crowd laughed. She started a few cords. "But let's be serious for a moment. `No one's going to give it away. They make it hard for the people today. To get what you want, you've got to take it yourself. Don't be afraid to drive the nail in the wood, or drink the bottle if it tastes so good. You'll go the distance. You never thought that you could. Reach out and take it. Reach out and ta-ta take it. Reach out and take it. Reach out and ta-ta-ta take it. Reach out and take it. Oh, yeah!`

`"Cough up the cash when you go over and over. Before the old one's gone, you've got a new owner. You need assistance when your head's in the clouds. You could live easy if life stood still. You could be faking and breaking and taking it all. But when you know you're gonna fall - Reach out and take it. Reach out and ta-ta take it. Reach out and take it. Reach out and ta-ta-ta take it. Reach out and take it. Don't have to make it so hard. Don't have to make it so, so hard. Don't have to make it so hard. Don't have to make it so hard!  
`

`"Reach out and take it. Reach out and ta-ta take it. Reach out and take it. Reach out and oh take it, oh babe. Reach out and take it.`

`"Reach out!"` 5layne sang. `"Reach out!"`

`"Take what you want!"` 5hadoe intoned.

"And last but not least, on the cow bell, 5layne!"

5layne thought for a moment. "`Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me, I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed`," 5layne sang. "`She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an 'L' on her forehead. Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. So much to do, so much to see, so what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow. Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play. Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid."  
`

`"All that glitters is gold."` 5hadoe sang in the background.

`"Only shooting stars break the mold."` 5layne sang. `"It's a cool place and they say it gets colder. You're bundled up now, wait till you get older. But the meteor mage beg to differ judging by the hole in the satellite picture. The ice we skate is getting pretty thin. The water's getting warm so you might as well swim. My world's on fire; how about yours? That's the way I like it and I never get bored. Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play. Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid. (All that glitters is gold.) Only shooting stars break the mold.`

`"Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play. Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid. (And all that glitters is gold.) Only shooting stars... Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas? I need to get myself away from this place. I said 'yep! what a concept! I could use a little fuel myself and we could all use a little change.' Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. So much to do, so much to see, so what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go (go!). You'll never shine if you don't glow. Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play. Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid. (And all that glitters is gold.) Only shooting stars break the mold. (And all that glitters is gold.) Only shooting stars break the mold."`

Wow!" Kimberley cried. "Look at that crowd. How about an encore?" 5layne shrugged and nodded. She whispered something to Kimberley. "Yeah. I know that one," Kimberley said as she began into some guitar rifts. "Hey boys!" she called. "Guess who had a `wasted youth!`?"

"`Wasted - youth!`" Mr. Socks and Junior sang.

"`I know that I will never be politically correct,`" 5layne sang into the microphone. "`And I don't give a damn about my lack of etiquette. As far as I'm concerned the world could still be flat. And if the thrill is gone, then it's time to take it back! If the thrill is gone, then it's time to take it back! Who am I? Why am I here? Forget the questions! Someone gimme another beer! What's the meaning of life? What's the meaning of it all? You gotta learn to dance before you learn to crawl! You gotta learn to dance before you learn to crawl!`

"`So sign up all you raw recruits. Throw away those designer suits. You got your weapons drawn, your targets in your sight. There's a party raging somewhere in the world. You gotta serve your country, gotta service your girl. You're all enlisted in the armies of the night. And I ain't in it for the power, and I ain't in it for my health. I ain't in it for the glory of anything at all, and I sure ain't in it for the wealth. But I'm in it 'till it's over and I just can't stop. If you wanna get it done, you gotta do it yourself. And I like my music like I like my life:`

"`Everything louder than everything else! Everything louder than everything else! Everything louder than - everything else! Everything louder than everything else! Everything louder than everything else! Everything louder than - everything else!`"

"`Wasted - youth! Wasted - youth! Ah! Wasted - youth! Wasted - youth!`"

"`They got a file on me and it's a mile long and they say that they got all of the proof, that I'm just another case of arrested development and just another wasted youth. They say that I'm in need of some radical discipline, they say I gotta face the truth, that I'm just another case of arrested development and just another wasted youth. They say I'm wild and I'm reckless, I should be acting my age, I'm an impressionable child in a tumultuous world, and they say I'm at a difficult stage. But it seems to me to the contrary, of all the crap they're going to put on the page, that a wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age! A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age! A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age! A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age! A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age!"  
`

"`Louder, louder, louder, louder, louder!`"

"`If you want my views of history, then there's something you should know; the three men I admire most are Curly, Larry, Moe! Don't worry about the future, soon enough it is the past. If they say the thrill is gone, then it's time to take it back. If the thrill is gone, then it's time to take it back!`

"`So sign up all you raw recruits. Throw away all those stupid suits. You got your weapons drawn, your targets in your sight. There's a party raging somewhere in the world. You gotta serve your country, gotta service your girl. You're all inducted in the armies of the night. And I ain't in it for the power, and I ain't in it for my health. I ain't in it for the glory of anything at all, and I sure ain't in it for the wealth. But I'm in it 'till it's over and I just can't stop. If you wanna get it done, you gotta fight for yourself. And I like my music like I like my life: `

"`Everything louder than everything else! Everything louder than everything else! Everything louder than everything else! Everything louder than everything else! Everything louder than everything else! Everything louder than - everything else!  
`

"`Everything louder than everything else! Everything louder than everything else! Everything louder than - everything else! Everything louder than everything else! Everything louder than everything else! Everything louder than - everything else!`" 

  


The concert over, the group were all relaxing back stage, chatting with each other. 

"Whoa!" 5layne said before Junior. "This is like the coolest drum set ever!"  


"Are you a band?" Kimberley asked skeptically.

"You play drums?" Junior asked as he motioned for 5layne to sit at the set.

"Of course we are," 5erenity replied. "We're _A Band Of Heroes_!"

"Anti-Heroes!" 5torm yelled.

"NOT Heroes!" 5hadoe called back.

"Not really," 5layne asked. "I travel around a lot and drums don't travel easy. Mostly I play armour."

"You're not really a band," Kimberly scoffed. "To be a band, you'd need a rhythm section. That means a drummer. Cow bell and armour doesn't count."

"No thanks," 5layne responded as Junior offered her a set of drum sticks. "I got my own." She pulled out a set of drum sticks and immediately took off into an incredible drum solo. The room just stared at her in awe.

"Not bad for someone who plays armour," Junior commented.

"That was awesome!" Kimberly cried. "Maybe you guys should be a band."

"It would be a chance for you to make an honest living," 5erenity suggested to 5hadoe.

"An honest living?" 5hadoe scoffed. "I doubt that. You hear what the Mythsong stage hands were saying?" She picked up her keytar and began playing some soft mood sounds. "`I want my - I want my Mythsong stage`," she began singing. "`I want my - I want my Mythsong stage.`"

"I know where this is going," 5torm said as she picked up her guitar. 5layne started to build a rhythm. 5erenity picked up her guitar.

"`Look at them yo-yo's,`" 5hadoe sang. "T`hat's the way you do it. You play the guitar on the Mythsong Stage. That ain't working. That's the way you do it. Money for nothing and your drinks for free. Now that ain't working. That's the way you do it. Lemme tell ya, them guys ain't dumb. Maybe get a blister on your little finger, Maybe get a blister on your thumb.`

"`We gotta install lighting and sound. Custom stage set deliveries! We gotta move these speaker stands! We gotta move these colour pinwheels!`

"`I shoulda learned to play the guitar. I shoulda learned to play them drums. Look at that mama, she got it sticking in the camera. Man we could have some fun. And she's up there, what's that? Hawaiian noises? Banging on the bongoes like a chimpanzee. That ain't working. That's the way you do it. Get your money for nothing and your drinks for free.`

"`We gotta install lighting and sound. Custom stage set deliveries! We gotta move these speaker stands! We gotta move these colour pinwheels!`

"`Now that aint working. That's the way you do it. You play the guitar on the Mythsong Stage. That ain't workin'. That's the way you do it. Money for nothin' and your drinks for free. Money for nothin' and drinks for free.  
Listen here. Now that ain't workin'. That's the way to do it. Play the guitar on the Mythsong Stage. That ain't workin'. That's the way you do it. Money for nothin' and drinks for free. Money for nothin' drinks for free.`"

"Which of the stage hands were saying that?" Kimberley demanded.

"It's not that easy!" Junior protested.

"It's actually very hard work!" Kimberley asserted.

"Of course it is," 5erenity said. "`Living on a lighted stage approaches the unreal, for those who think and feel, in touch with some reality, beyond the gilded cage.  
`

"`Cast in this unlikely role, ill-equipped to act, with insufficient tact, one must put up barriers to keep oneself intact.`

"`Living in the limelight, The universal dream, For those who wish to seem, Those who wish to be, Must put aside the alienation, Get on with the fascination, The real relation, The underlying theme.`

"`Living in a fish eye lens Caught in the camera eye, I have no heart to lie. I can't pretend a stranger Is a long-awaited friend.`

"`All the world's indeed a stage And we are merely players, Performers and portrayers, Each another's audience Outside the gilded cage`

"`Living in the limelight, The universal dream, For those who wish to seem, Those who wish to be, Must put aside the alienation, Get on with the fascination, The real relation, The underlying theme.`

"`Living in the limelight, The universal dream, For those who wish to seem, Those who wish to be, Must put aside the alienation, Get on with the fascination, The real relation, The underlying theme. The real relation, The underlying theme.`

"I'm glad we're not competing against these guys!" Mr. Socks said.

"They are pretty good," Kimberley agreed. "But you need original songs to compete in Lorestockapalooza. But don't you think they'd make a great opening act?"

"No way!" 5hadoe cried.

  


"Opening for One Eyed Doll, let's hear it for ..."

**Author's Note:**

> ## Music Credits:
> 
> Safety Dance - Men Without Hats
> 
> (I can't get no) Satisfaction - adapted from the Britney Spears version.  
Original by the Rolling Stones.
> 
> Go North - adapted from Go West by the Pet Shop Boys
> 
> HP Breaker - adapted from Heart Breaker by Pat Benatar
> 
> Bad Moon Rising - Credence Clearwater Revival.
> 
> (Rock me) Amadeus - Falco
> 
> Burning Down The House - Talking Heads
> 
> Roll Over Beethoven - Chuck Berry
> 
> Superstitious - Stevie Wonder
> 
> Soul Man - adapted from Soul Man as done by The Blues Brothers,  
original by Sam and Dave  
Airship Pirates - Abney Park
> 
> We Don't Need Another Hero - adapted from We Don't Need Another Hero  
by Tina Turner
> 
> We Won't Back Down - adapted from I Won't Back Down__ by  
Tom Petty
> 
> Rock Lobster - The B52s
> 
> Life Won't Wait - Ozzy Osbourne
> 
> The World Is Not Enough - adapted from The World Is Not Enough by  
Garbage
> 
> Prologue - Electric Light Orchestra
> 
> Kung-Fu Fighting - adapted from Kung Fu Fighting by The Vamps for  
Kung Fu Panda 3, the original by Carl Douglas, and Cee-Lo for Kung-Fu  
Panda
> 
> Let Me Hear You Scream - adapted from Let Me Hear You Scream by  
Ozzy Osbourne
> 
> My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark - Fall Out Boy
> 
> Veteran of The Magic Wars - adapted from Veteran Of The Psychic Wars  
by Blue Oyster Cult
> 
> I got Rhythm - George Gershwin
> 
> I'm All About That Bass - Meghan Trainor
> 
> Kill them with Kindness - Selena Gomez 
> 
> Trouble - Mike Stoller & Jerry Leiber for Elvis Presley 
> 
> You Got To Rob a Noble Or Two - adapted from You Got To Pick A Pocket  
Or Two from the musical Oliver!  
Reach Out - Cheap Trick
> 
> All-Star - Smashmouth. 
> 
> Everything Louder (Than Everything Else) - Jim Steinman writing for  
Meatloaf 
> 
> Money For Nothing - adapted from Money For Nothing by Dire  
Straits
> 
> Limelight - Rush


End file.
